Ever had a client come in to a program – maybe even one of your high end programs – and flounder…
… until finally, unbeknownst to you, they go seek out another coach / mentor / teacher or healer… and their results SKYROCKET?
And you find out about it after the fact…
And it’s like everything you can do to keep from spiraling into the pit of transformational leader shame…
Except you don’t stay out of the shame spiral, or the self doubt spiral, or the guilt spiral…. you fall right in to whatever your spiral-flavor-of-the-day is.
* I completely failed that person
* I’m a total fraud
* My programs must not be worth it
* Who am I to charge these kinds of fees
* I suck so hard my clients have to work with someone else…
When that happens (and it will)…
First of all, be kind to yourself. It takes a LOT of self management, self-love and practice NOT to go into that spinout when that scenario goes down.
Then I invite you to take a step back and see what that spiral REALLY is.
It’s the “ALL ABOUT YOU” spiral.
Yep, when you spin out because one of your clients got “better results” with someone else while in a program with YOU, then all of a sudden, it’s all about you.
Here’s what your ego mind is getting in the way of you remembering in that moment…
Transformation is not a solo sport.
Transformation is a team sport.
By the time that client has stepped in to your Highest Level program, let’s say… they have been suffering with whatever they’re struggling with for a while.
Or they’ve been working on it for a while.
* Their * Highest Level wants to be expressed. So they’re going to come up against their stuff.
That’s what YOU create the space for. Right?
This is likely not headline news. But what you’ve likely forgotten, in your rock-star-in-a-spin-out-ness… is that they’ve been at this thing for a little while.
Think of it as your client stacking up dominos, all in a line.
Stack, stack, stack.
Only… nobody knows when that first domino is going to tip over, or WHAT is going to be the catalyst for it tipping over…
Let alone WHO gets to be there for that ultra-satisfying moment when allll the dominos come tumbling down.
It may be you. Indeed, it often is you. Hooray!
And It may be someone else.
As transformational leaders, we ALL get the privilege, at different times, to be the one who kicks off the domino.
But make no mistake: in every high level transformational relationship, your client has been stacking dominos for a while.
And nobody really knows just how much stacking is needed before that first domino falls.
It may be you. It may be someone else.
Truth is, is it doesn’t really matter.
When you’re playing in the realm of deep transformation, what matters is that your client keeps stacking dominos, no matter what.
Your client may be frustrated having to invest more time money energy and attention and the thing STILL isn’t solved…
Indeed, that client may be “mad” at you, projecting that frustration on you.
If that’s the case, the client is ALSO making it about you.
Don’t fall for it. BE with what is coming up for your client. Stay in your power.
It’s not about you. A human being’s transformation requires whatever it requires.
And that is a factor of many things, including how ready and willing your client REALLY is to have what they want.
We all love fast results. I love fast results. My internal timeline is fast, so I’m always on the lookout for “shortest fastest path.”
But, neurologically speaking, there really is only so much change we can take in, at any given time. Your client may need to be in the struggle a little while longer so that she can recalibrate her insides to the new way.
Meanwhile… there you are, stacking domino after domino after domino after domino.
In this field, we all hear about “the ONE great mentor.” The one who everyone has worked with. The one with all the success stories. The one that everyone talks about.
That mentor has gotten REALLY skilled at helping their clients set up dominos, and setting them up on the down-low when the client isn’t looking.
They are also REALLY good at seeing exactly who is READY for their brilliance, and at what time.
I guarantee you that that mentor / teacher / healer has had MANY times where clients have come to them, and they stack the dominoes… and then their client got the breakthrough later. With someone else.
The best of the best mentors can LOVE that moment.
They can love that moment when their client’s first domino falls on someone else’s watch.
Because they are not fooled.
They know how many of those dominoes they had a hand in stacking up.
They don’t lower their fees. They don’t question their worth, their abilities, or the process of stacking dominos.
They DO look to see what they may have done differently. Because that’s how you become masterful at anything. Acknowledging what’s RIGHT and then asking… “what else?”
So the next time that your client comes into your program, flounders around, and then has their “domino moment” with someone else, celebrate with them.
Instead of the shame spiral, bask in the vibration of your Highest Level, and project that OUT to attract more of your perfectly aligned clients.
Because you’re really freaking good at stacking dominos.
And when you finally let yourself EMBODY your greatness…
Business gets a lot more fun 😉
On that note…
Our next round of Highest Level Transformation starts next week!
This is an intimate, immersion-style offering and we move FAST.
Together, we’ll create a new enrollment system that has you lining up clients for your Highest Level programs ($20k-$50k each)…
And getting them rapid-transformation, domino-falling results that has them excited to keep going with you.
Sounds like something you’re interested in?
Comment below or send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get you all the deets ASAP.
Love and magic,